Mankind and the Need for Encouragement

Mostly (more frankly all) people desire to be the centers of attention because of a certain characteristic common to all of us, i.e., “the love of self.”
Paying sufficient attention to this need, without taking it too far and allowing for the undesirable side effects, is a cause and reason for change and motivation in the human being.
When we encourage someone and praise him for a characteristic he possesses or an action he has done, what we have in fact done is satisfy his sense of ‘self-love’. This creates both a certain attraction and love and an intention and motivation, all of which have been strengthened through such means.
To achieve such a means we must have an understanding of a human being’s characteristics, expectations, and needs in general and the special features of the person in particular, so that, we may enliven an inner motivation which will lead to an outer exertion (not only a reaction).
Some don’t possess the power of encouraging others and because of their selfishness, pride, jealousy or for any other such reason, never praise the good in others. Somehow it is hard for them to utter such words, however, these same people are always expectant of praise from others.
Some who have been brought up (disciplined) to praise others and point out their good deeds and not only are they comfortable with it, they enjoy it too... and what a great difference there is between these two groups!
Having an encouraging manner of communication and speaking is a God given blessing. It is a sign of spiritual perfection and great aspiration and a love for the elevation and greatness of the human race. Encouragement of the good and worthy provides the framework for good deeds and greater goodness.
If in a community, there is no differentiation between right and wrong, and the virtuous and faulty are viewed in the same manner, this can cause the downfall of morals and social values in that society or community. The righteous will become hopeless and full of despair, and evil will find courage and strengthen itself. This is the thought behind Imam Ali’s (AS) words in a letter to Malik-al-Ashtar, when he told him to cherish the virtuous and be kind to the righteous. He wrote:
“O Malik! Never should the righteous and the faulty have the same standing in your mind, because this encourages despair in doing good among the virtuous and readiness of wrong-doing among the faulty.”
Differentiating between good and evil is not only consistent with justice, it actually pulls the community towards pious and praiseworthy values. This difference in response is possible at home between children and in the academic environment whether school or universities, among the students. It is also possible among employees and soldiers and any other group of people.

Appropriateness of Action & Encouragement
In arguments, concerning detaining and encouraging, the balance between action and the amount of encouragement should be considered in order to have the desired and proper effect. Without this balance, actions will lean towards one extreme or the other, both of which are harmful. Of course, going to any extreme and praising or discouraging have their own roots and reasons.
Imam Ali (AS) says: “Praising a person more than he deserves is worthless flattery. And saying less than what he deserves reflects jealousy.”
The above saying not only emphasizes moderation, but also points out the two extremes and their roots and reasons. Praising too much is either the result of ignorance and not knowing the actual worth of the work or object, or a sign of flattery and lowly spirits.
Again Imam Ali (AS) says: “The greatest ignorance is going to the extremes in praising or disgracing.”
Although we are speaking of encouragement, praising is also one of the features of this deed and a way to stir willingness in people. Because encouragement is a means for making a person do good, if the value of such praise (or encouragement) isn’t somehow superior to the action concerned, that deed shall seem unimportant.
For example, if a student who has worked all through the school year and achieved the highest honors is praised with a simple “good job”, he will lose the high morale that helped him attain such means. Or, if we satisfy ourselves with a simple thanks giving to a person who has sacrificed a great deal, we have not done justice to his claim of encouragement and attention. In contrast, if we praise a small deed like a contest or a question asked, we have slurred the worth of the deed making it look more important than it actually is.

Methods and Ways of Encouragement:
We need to employ different means to encourage different people under different circumstances. One needs to be spoken to in a caring and encouraging manner, another requires respect and attention. While another will yield to money and prizes (or gifts), another will need to be mentioned and brought to public attention. One will be encouraged with books and educational material, some with household accessories and others with food and delicacies.
There are other more delicate points to be taken into consideration. For example, the age of the person in mind, his financial status and situation in life and other such things.
Imam Ali (AS) has cautioned Malik-al-Ashtar in his book “Nahjul-Balaghah” about how to act with the martial leaders and commanders. Imam (AS) recommended him to respect them according to justice and their personal services and efforts. Also he tells him to be careful of their well-being and comfort, so that when the time for Jihad is at hand, they would be strong and united. He said:
“Always praise them and don’t forget their hardship, burdens and toils, because remembering and mentioning their good deeds will motivate the brave and encourage the lazy and feeble.”
The Late Imam Khomeini (RA) used this method, both before, during, and after the Islamic Revolution of Iran. In the beginning, when there was talk of dissolving the army, he spoke of their unity of heart and mind and praised them in front of the nation and by doing so he urged them into the arena. This was the method employed again during the war with Iraq, an action which played a considerable part in the heroic actions during the Iraqi-imposed war.
So the type of praise given to soldiers, workers, students, youngsters, older people, ladies, physicians, nurses, etc., must be different and in accordance with their work and needs. So as to show the value of their particular efforts.
“Praise (encouragement) should be done in a way that the one praised will feel others have realized the worth of his action and are glad and thankful for what he has done. Of course, encouragement should not lead to vanity. We must consider the capacity of the person in mind. If we go beyond their capacity, most people will become expectant and either vain or lose their motivation. We must never forget such negative results. As Imam Ali (AS) has pointed out, thus:
“And there are those who become proud and vain when praised.”

Conditions for Encouragement
In the act of encouragement, there are certain aspects that must be taken into consideration. These aspects help it become more effective without which they become ineffective or worse, some of these are as follows:
1. Encouragement should be done while keeping the understanding, and abilities of the person in mind.
2. The value of virtuous action and characteristics should be presented to him.
3. Encouragement should not be considered as bribe and ransom.
4. It should be done in moderation so that it does not lose its effectiveness.
5. It should be an intrinsic part of the person’s actions and intentions, because encouragement reaches its eloquent levels when accompanied by a good deed, otherwise, it loses its motivating effect. There is a tradition (hadith) that says: “Pay a laborer his wages before the sweat dries off his body.”
6. Encouragement should be done while the person is made aware of the reason and the work for which he is being rewarded, exactly in the same manner you would scold a person for a wrong-doing. Because if the person doesn’t know for what action he is being praised and rewarded (or scolded and forbidden) our efforts will not meet with any desirable result.
7. Encouragement should be in proportion with the action it is intended for and not exaggerated, just like the dosage of a pill or medicine to achieve the greatest effect, otherwise, it could even prove harmful. Sometimes encouraging a righteous person could restrain him/her from corruption.
This is the indirect effect of encouragement. The Messengers of God (AS) were responsible for encouraging and inhibiting, but sometimes encouraging and giving glad tidings created a more desirable response (gave better results) than discouragement.
Imam Ali (AS) says: “Restrain a virtuous person by rewarding and praising.”
Praising the young generation isn’t a means of bribing or false flattery. Real encouragement means discovering the abilities of children and creating an opportunity and environment for their manifestation and encouraging medium consists of joining teaching and nurturing to social living, informing the young generation of their responsibilities and giving them a chance to fulfill it.